


Connor's Introduction to Alcohol

by Aureux



Series: Connor's Introduction to All Things Deviancy [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Drunk Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Drunk Texting, Fireball, Memes, No beta/We die like men, rated for Hank's Mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 05:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aureux/pseuds/Aureux
Summary: The first time Hank saw Connor drunk it was a few days after the revolution.And Hank honestly couldn't tell if he wanted to ever see it again.





	Connor's Introduction to Alcohol

The first time Hank saw Connor drunk it was a few days after the revolution. 

Most everything was still closed down in the wake of the evacuations. Those that stayed behind tried their best to continue their day to day lives. That, with planned supply drops for the too poor or stubborn residents left the future just a bit more stable. 

Hank of course fit in the latter group. Granted, it wasn't like he had any family to stay with. His folks were years dead and his brother hadn't spoken to him ever since he showed up at the second wedding drunk off his ass. Even if he could hypothetically leave, someone had to stay around to keep his android partner from attracting every stray bullet in the fucking Lake Erie area. 

So one such night bored out of his mind and just a few drinks into tipsy Hank turned over to the manchild he was intermittently babysitting and asking something that had tugged at his mind during the late hours of the night.

“You said at the bridge you'd be whatever I want ya to be.”

Connor, who just until this moment entertaining himself with Hank’s old DS XL Hite, merely raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes. I have the conversation recorded. What in particular are you interested about it?” 

“You,” Hank paused to take another swig of his piss-warm beer, “You said drinking buddy. I know it was prolly a load a bullshit but I gotta ask. Can you, you know?” 

Connor blinked blankly down at the bottle haphazardly gestured at him. “I know what?”

The elder man huffed out something between a sigh and a groan. 

“Now I know you are just fucking with me.”

And the android fucking smiled at Hank’s misfortune.

“Anyway can ya even get drunk and shit?” There. It was said. All with the tact of a constipated whale.

“I am equipped with ethanol sensors.” Was the explanation he was award with for this bullshit of a conversation.

“And that means….?” Hank hedged.

“It means yes Lieutenant. I can simulate intoxication.” 

”That's a good man!” The grizzled detective all but cheered, “Now drink this?”

The RK800 unit blinked as the beer was once again shoved in your face.

“Aren't you already drinking this one?”

“Yes but it is warm and tastes like ass.” 

“So you are going to make me drink it.” Connor said dryly. 

“You lick blood and shit. Seemed right up your alley.”

“I have never once consumed shit.” 

Hank growled at the asshole. Yeah, it was great and shit that the android was developing a sense of humor. The the fucker could be coy when we was dodging. The quiet little voice in the back of his head reminded the lieutenant that Connor only ever deflected when uncomfortable. It went unheeded in the face of a more powerful force.

Unbridled curiosity.

“Just quit lily dicking around already and drink the fucking beer!” The otherwise intimidating growl was punctuated by an unhelpfully dainty sneeze.

“Bless you.”

“Fuck off and drink.”

Connor smirked at the human before kicking back the rest of the beer in one smooth motion. Half a bottle vanished into whatever constituted as a gut for an android, the optional need to breathe easily ignored for the moment.

The bottle hit the table with a clatter, the prototype’s LED a whirl of yellow as his face scrunched up. He looked for all the world like a human who just drank piss and Hank found it fucking hilarious.

”That... was unpleasant.”

“Didn't think you could taste it.” Hank managed through his guffaws. 

“It was more of the foam in my nasal cavities… Though the beer itself was far from pleasant either.”

The human sat up and calmed down enough to stare curiously at the android. “You CAN taste it?” 

“Not in the same sense as a human would, but yes.” Connor continued smacking his lips like a dog with peanut butter and any composure Hank regained was lost.

“So you don't like beer. Got it. Maybe whiskey will be more your speed.”

Two wide brown eyes fixed on him with an expression that could only be scandalized. “I'm fine with beer Hank.”

“Don't be a pussy.” Hank grouched as he rose to retrieve the bottle from his cabinet. It was no Black Lamb but he still had some cinnamon something or other from his ex. 

Wasn't really Hank’s thing, he preferred to go big or go home. Best whiskey burned like hell on the way down. But it would work in a pinch and might even get Connor down. Especially if the android was programmed to be a heavyweight like he figured he was. 

It took more time than the lieutenant liked to track down the errant bottle but it was more than worth it to see the surprise written on his partner's face as he thunked the 750 milliliter bottle down on the table. 

“Fireball?”

“Yeah the wife loved the stuff.”

Connor looked practically horrified as he processed that information.

“This has been sitting in your cupboard for at least two years.” 

“Your point? Alcohol don't go bad. At least not the good stuff.”

“I… concede your point,” Connor still looked uneasy, “Is this really necessary?”

”Got something else better you could be doing?”

“Well... “

“Thought so.” Hank said smugly. “Now I wanna get drunk and you did say you'd be my drinking buddy. Only fair you get drunk too.”

Two shot glasses joined the bottle on the table before Hank retook his seat with a careless plop. It was just a matter of cracking the seal before the heavy smell of spice and liquor filled the air. Rich amber liquid sloshed against the clear glass as he poured with hands steadier than his state should dictate.

Connor looked for all the world like a man facing execution as the shot was slid over to him. Still, it didn't stop the RK800 from mirroring the human as both downed their first shot.

The rush of whiskey burned chased with the heat of cinnamon that left him puffing out a heavy breath to rid his tongue of the sting. In front of him Connor shook his head with a groan; his LED pulsing a minute red before circling back to yellow.

“You alright there Connor?” Hank’s voice was rough in his throat which still prickled with the afterburn.

“Yes I'm fine. That just... momentarily overwhelmed my oral sensor.” the android exhaled through his nose as his tongue poked free from the confinement of his mouth.

“You good to keep going?” 

“Do I really have a choice?” Connor snarked with an expression of fondness and exasperation.

“Bullshit. If you didn't wanna do it you then you wouldn't. Not like you've ever listened to me before.” 

“I will admit to some personal interest,” the glass was rolled delicately between slim synthetic fingers, “Now that I can feel I find myself curious of some things I otherwise would not have experienced like this.”

“You made it sound like you could always do the whole drunk thing.” Hank pointed out as he moved to refill both their glasses.

“That is true.” He mumbled, staring into the glass like it held all the secrets of the universe.

“I'm sensing a but here.”

“But it would be just that. A physical simulation to blend in or play a role. I wouldn't actually feel it. But now… maybe… I can actually experience it.”

Hank nodded along to the rambling his own hands rubbing the worn rim of his own glass. It was a sobering thought, that up until Markus did his voodoo mindfuckery Connor wasn't really there. Just a machine, a husk with a human face but nothing behind it. In some ways his partner had only truly been a person for a few days and isn't that trippy as hell?

The second shot quickly joined the first down his throat, the burn less now that the nerves were already numbed. Already the pleasant tingle began to set into his extremities. Connor, champ that he was, follow Hank’s lead without any complaining. His face still screwed up involuntarily in a reaction so human that it would make Gavin shit himself.

”Why do humans drink this?”

“Because we are masochistic. Need a little pain to remind us we are alive.” The bottle shook imperceptibly in his hand as he pointed the nose toward Connor, “Another or are you tapping out already?”

“What is it with you and pointing things at me?” Connor huffed as he surrendered his glass to be filled. 

“‘Cause why not? Got a problem with it?” 

“Just an observation.” Was the chimed reply as the fucker took another shot with ease.

“Weren't you just complaining about the taste?”

“I turn off the receptors. Plus I figured you'd just keep me going until I became intoxicated so I decided to merely speed up the process.” 

Hank snorted into his drink.

“If you can still talk like that then you aren't drunk enough.”

”I am not sure what you were expecting. I was created in order to consume alcohol for appearance not for the act of growing intoxicated.”

“Then why make it possible at all?”

The look Connor sent his way showed just how intelligent of a question that was. “In order to blend in with humans.”

“Of course.” And Hank had no problem using his tone to convey how little tolerance he had for the other’s bullshit as he refilled his partner's glass.

“Isn't the point of drinking to match each other?” Connor asked with that inquisitive little tilt of his head. Even so he still accepted the glass back as Hank pushed it toward him.

“I already had a few drinks on ya. Plus how am I supposed to enjoy ya making a fool out of yourself if I can't remember it?”

“I suppose.” The android knocked back the drink like a champ, only the faint crease of his nose showing his lingering distaste.

Almost an hour passed following the same theme. The two bantered back and forth, Connor having developed quite the sassy streak in his deviancy. The company was easy and casual. Not perfect, both parties still had way too much baggage for that, but enough.

For every one shot Hank took Connor took two more. As the alcohol flowed the topics became more varied and obscure. Such as the current one.

“I'm tellin’ ya, the remakes have nothin’ on the originals!” 

“And I wasn't disagreeing. I was just pointing out I haven't seen either.”

“And isn't that fucking bullshit!?” Hank punctuated his point with a loud clunk of glass on wood.

“Yes of course. When developing an android it is imper-impertinent to require mandatory movie viewings and meme culture.”

“Would definitely help with that stick up yer ass!”

“You think about my ass? I'm flattered Lieutenant.” Connor purred with his head propped up on his hand and finger idly circling the rim.

His straight laced and easy professional look had taken a beating. His tied has long been lost along with its pin, the cuffs of his dress shirt unbuttoned and pushed to his elbows. His usually artfully swept back hair had lost its shape, leaving it to spike and wave at random.

“Shuddup! Point is ain't ya go internet or somethin’ in that noggin’ of yours?” 

“I do. But I can't say I ever thought to use it to download movie information just because.”

“Alright smartass. Next weekend we're gonna sit down and marathon the classics.” Hank huffed as he snatched back the glass from Connor to stop it from spinning. 

“You just want an excuse to watch Die Hard again,” Connor rolled his eyes of all things, his LED pulsing a sluggish yellow much like laptop left in sleep mode. 

“Dontcha dare talk shit about Die Hard!”

“I didn't say it's bad. Just not amazing. Not ‘Die Hard is love, Die Hard is life' as you millenials like to say.”

Hank couldn't help but sputter. 

“Did-Did you just meme at me?” 

“As you would say ‘No shit Sherlock’,” Connor droned back, modulating his voice to match Hank's own for the quote. Hank merely blinked back in surprise, looking between the mostly empty bottle and Connor.

“Yer fucking with me… huh..” the old police lieutenant mused, eyeing the less than sober android, “Took fuckin’ long enough.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

Connor seemed legitimately puzzled by the human, his head tilted in the classic puppy confusion. Hank swore the android was a dog in another life. Or a stone cold alcoholic given the android seemed still mostly all there after over half a bottle of cinnamon whiskey. 

Actually scratch that. Hank could only watch in stunned silence as the android moved to stand up and come closer only to promptly collapse. 

“You okay there Connor?” The human rose in his chair to look watch as his partner struggled to stand with the aid of a chair. 

“Mmm fine.. just wasn't expectin’ the full ext-exta-whatever that word is to hit when I got up,”

Hank laughed, full bellied and to the point of snorting as Connor continued to try and stand. The detective almost made it to his feet too, until the poor chair he was cling to gave up under the substantial weight of the android and tipped with his.

“Haaaank help!” Connor all but whined from his new place on the floor, making tears spring to Hanks eyes as the laughing fit renewed. 

Connor, for his part, just kept pouting as Hank struggled to get his breathing under control.

[δΟፑፐധΛրε I⊓δT∧БIㄴIτყ]

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: 01001100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01100101 01110010 01110100  _ (Life Alert) _

PL600 #501 743 923: Umm?

RK200 #684 842 971: @Connor are you alright?

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: Help. I've fallen and I can't get up. 

PL600 #501 743 923: ..Are you alone? Do you need us to send someone?

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: Hank's here and he's being an asshole and laughing instead of helping.

WR400 #641 790 831: Is this really Connor?

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: No someone just hacked my serial number, yes I am Connor. 

WR400 #641 790 831: Someone developed some attitude. 

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: Bitch please. I've always had attitude. ...that's probably why I got stuck with a cold and psychotic AI in my programming files…

RK200 #684 842 971: WHAT!? IS IT STILL THERE!? DO YOU NEED HELP!?

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: Nah she's long gone.

PL600 #501 743 923: Good. Please don't scare us like that. 

PJ500 #351 101 984: Am I the only one concerned about why Connor is acting like this?

WR400 #641 790 831: Yes.

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: Turns out having composition sensors and undercover programming as a deviant means you can get drunk. 

RK200 #684 842 971: …

PL600 #501 743 923: …

PJ500 #351 101 984:  …

WR400 #641 790 831: Hah. 

RK800 #313 248 317 - 52: ...was it something I said?


End file.
